I'm late for a very important date

For the Week of December 13, 2010
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I'm late for a very important date
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I'm angry at GH. They sucked me in and let me get invested in the budding relationship between Lucky and Siobhan only to discover that Siobhan is a snitch for the Balkan.

Dear readers, I must apologize. My column is a day late because this weekend I worked two 12 hour days back to back on a massive Toy/Food/Grocery giveaway in my town that took priority over GH. I am sorry if you came here looking for a column and found a blank space, but take comfort that 10,000 bags of groceries and 9000 toys found their way into the hands of hurting families, and your patience bought me that time! Thanks.

Now to the nitty gritty. I'm angry at GH. They sucked me in and let me get invested in the budding relationship between Lucky and Siobhan only to discover that Siobhan is a snitch for the Balkan. (Whoever the heck he/she may be) and I was severely annoyed with the revelation.

That seems to be a recent rewrite, because the day she met Lucky/Ronan, she believed he was actually Ronan and was shocked the day she overheard Lulu, Dante and Lucky talking about his undercover work. Or did I just imagine that scene where she heard that and went running off all upset? No, of course I didn't. So, for the writers to now decide Siobhan has been in on it all along rings false. We saw her reaction that day and remember it- this new reveal negates the entire storyline up to this point. I don't like storylines that pull the rug out from under me. When I let my heart get invested in fictional characters, I like a little payoff somewhere down the road.

But now, Siobhan is just another woman who has lied to and used Lucky, which puts her in the same category as Elizabeth, Rebecca, and Maxie. Maybe Michael should let Lucky have a whirl at Abby since it's becoming that clear Carly won't let Michael date her.

Readers, I got so excited when Theo saw Lisa stealing the meds -- I thought *finally* she would be caught, but as is the case on soaps, Stephen bought her ridiculous lie about an illegal immigrant housekeeper's cousin having some vague infection. I mean really. Have you ever seen Lisa's place? It has like two rooms. Why would you hire someone to clean a place that little? You could wipe the whole joint down with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser by spinning around with your arms out in one spot.

It's getting so far fetched I'm at the limit of how much disbelief I can suspend. Johnny's been bleeding from a gun shot wound on his sofa for several days now with only some stolen Amoxicillin and bandages -- hasn't he lost enough blood by now to warrant a transfusion?

But, mobsters are a hardy lot -- I'm still have convinced that Lorenzo Alcazar is still among the living.

I mean, Jerry Jacks is alive, and I've lost count of how many times we thought he was dead, going all the way back to when he had the face of Julian Stone. They must have removed part of his brain when they gave him his face transplant because he never visits Bobbie when he comes to town these days.

We do have some consistency though, Edward Q is up to is old manipulative tricks keeping Ethan and Maya in the queue to get a million bucks and now adding the latest stipulation that they have to live together as man and wife to collect. Maya is giving Ethan hint after hint, but he hasn't yet caught on that what she is waiting for a genuine declaration of love.

Dante was toying with making a genuine declaration of love to Brenda after a beer or five and thankfully Coleman called Michael to pick up his brother and put him in bed. Dante must be a lightweight -- Brook Lynn knocked him for a loop with her rufi and two beers at Jake's rendered him incoherent. Really, he should join the 12 step group of his choice.

This happens on soaps all the time- fathers and sons bedding the same women, and really, it's just gross. I mean, I love my father-in-law, but, EWWWW. When Lulu finds out (and of course she will) she will be devastated and all the warnings she's gotten from Carly, Tracy and her dad will come back to haunt her. Maybe she will go back to Johnny for a rebound fling and he can draw some sheet music on the wall in her honor for old time's sake.

Remember when Lt. Taggert used to call Jason "Anger Boy" if he was still in town, he'd be calling Michael "Anger Boy Jr." Michael got a little carried away when one of Abby's clients from the club got a little too friendly with her off the clock and nailed him. Lesson of the week: When you're on parole and have violated your parole about 11 times, it's best to call in your mob enforcer uncle to intimidate anyone considering reporting that you violated your parole.

A lesson he learned from his mother no doubt who seemingly has nothing to do in the world these days but wreak havoc on other people's lives. Carly is either getting revenge on Dante and Lulu, warning Sonny about Brenda, meddling in Michael's life, or using Jax's mom to her own advantage. She's become increasingly unlikable. When Carly behaves abhorrently in order to save or protect a friend, she comes off admirably. But when she's cruel just for the sake of cruelty, it's hard to understand why anyone loves her. Why is nice guy Jax with such a snake? I want the writers to try and soften her up a little. Carly used to be a mixture of strength and vulnerability, of insecurity and determination, but lately, she's just a one dimensional (rhymes with witch.)

Brenda, on the other hand is a peach. A little high strung, but a decent and caring person. In addition, Brenda has mad chemistry with Sonny, a fact which could explain why he bought her a house. Dante and Sonny had a heart to heart about Brenda which left Sonny a little curious about why Dante is so reluctant to talk about her. In fact, when Dante requested that the two of them avoid discussing Brenda in the future, I saw the wheels in Sonny's brain start to spin.

If Dante and Brenda do have a secret baby, would Sonny be able to be both a step-dad and a grandpa to their kid? Creepy.

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will the Balkan be Jerry? Will the Balkan be Suzanne? Will the Balkan be Franco? Will the Balkan be Diego Alcazar? Will the Balkan be Caesar Faison? Will the Balkan be Casey from Lumina? Will the Balkan be Jimmy Lee Holt? Will the Balkan be Lois Cerullo? Will the Balkan be A.J Quartermaine? Will I have more questions next week than who the freaking Balkan might be?

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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